Right now I....

I'm a pretty crappy friend....

Sorry to all my friends I've let down recently.

Don't give up on me.

February's a rollercoaster....

So Janaury flew by faster than I expected it too. Good and bad I guess...one step closer to seeing Gabi, one step closer to it be summertime.

I feel like maybe I've been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster...though I'm pretty able to keep it in check in public. Which is good because I think I have enough people who think I'm pretty crazy! =P

Work has keep not me busy not only physically but mentally as well. At work I don't have time to think about how far away friends are and I have to think more on how I'm NOT going to yell at this indignant parent.

Really. If I wasn't such a kind person I'd be jumping over the door and body-slamming this rude parents who think they have the right to everything just because it's a free service.

My niceness is probably what's going to be the end of me....people are going to walk all over me or I'm going to snap and turn into a cracked out mega panda and breathe fire on everyone.

Hahaha I just pictured that in my head....ehhh...getting back on track!

I feel like working in Smaland with all these rude people is starting to give me sort of a backbone? I've definately been standing up for myself more. Seriously, if you have something to say that involves me, don't beat around the bush. Please, say it to my face because I can take it and I will have something to say. Ergo it may not be anything rude or snappy, but I will express my opinion in a non-yelling tone. So please, hit me with your best shot. I'll be praying for you afterwards. =D

Haven't had much time to hang with friends. That makes me sad. I feel like I haven't talked to anyone in such a long time. Alot is really my fault though. I pick up shifts when I can and then at the end of the day I'm too exhausted to go see anyone so I just end up going home, showering, then it's pj's, tv-time and and then bed-time. I haven't even been able to continue on 'Atlas Shrugged' which could be viewed as good or bad. LoL. That book has some huge vernacular in it...I need a dictionary next to me as I'm reading it.

But seriously, I need to get better at keeping in touch. Maybe then I'll be less lonely. Okay I seriously just need to learn how to pick up my cell and call people. It's my downfall....besides my kindness. lol.

Soooo favorite website at the moment? http://www.postsecret.com/

Seriously..I LOVE that site. I check it every sunday to see the new secrets that are sent in. For those of you who don't know what it is, here's an small descreption from the wikipedia page :

Postsecret is an ongoing community mail art project, created by Frank Warren, in which people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. Select secrets are then posted on the postsecret website, or used in Postsecret's books, or museum exhibits.

I'm one of those people who check it every sunday. Maybe one day I'll get brave and send in my own secret.

Hmm I've been playing with my sewing machine and reconstructing t-shirts and pants as of lately. Thrift stores are my best friends all over again!

Uhmm...music as of late? Hmm...I'm pretty excited for the new 'Gorillaz' album called 'Plastic Beach'. Comes out really soon. Yayyy! Hmm...but I've been listening to everything because I like all types of music weather I'm just listening to the beat or the words.

I have to babysit later but I don't have to leave for awhile....I think I'll have a dance party in my room with Lady Gaga.

P.P.S....someone please take my grandmother...seriously. This is getting out of hand. I'm ready to jump in front of a bus. =D

January

I've learned alot about myself in the past month.

At first I was used to the routine and the quiet.

Now I miss being around people all the time.

I miss the laughing, staying up until 4 a.m talking about life and anything that popped into our heads.

I have to get used to the routine again and get used to being alittle lonely.

July cannot get here any faster.

Thirty Seconds To Mars - Kings + Queens

New music video by 30 Seconds to Mars for their new single "Kings and Queens"
This is one of the best videos that I've seen in awhile. Check it out.

Thirty Seconds To Mars - Kings + Queens - HD Video by 30 Seconds to Mars - MySpace Video

Books I want to read....

Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

The Foutainhead - Ayn Rand

We the Living - Ayn Rand

East of Eden - John Steinback

Death in Spring - Merce Rodoreda

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

These are just a few of the books right now that I've been itching to read. There's a whole bunch more that I don't feel like listing because your eyes would probably start to bleed. But I figured it was time I moved on to different types of stories than the ones I'm used to reading. You know....lol, books with plots meant for teens and highschool. Don't get me wrong, those books will always hold a special place in my heart and I'm sure I'll still buy them when a new title catches my eye. At the moment though, I'm moving on to some different books.

What books are you reading right now? Have any good suggestions? Favorites?

Tell meee!

<3

Reasons Why I Even Bother to Wake-Up in the Morning.

Have you ever loved someone or something so much that they were literally one of the reasons why you even bother to wake up in the morning and roll out of your bed?

I defintely do in my life. And though I know for a fact that I have more than one, I want to touch on the main two people who have such an impact of my life.

They're names are Aiden and Kylie. They are the little brother and sister that God never gave me when I was younger and now I understand why he didn't. He knew that later, he'd place these two precious treasures in my life to be my little brother and sister. I love these little ones so very, very, much and I would kill or die for them. They are two of the reasons why I get out of bed in the morning. They make me want to be a better person. I love them with all of my heart, and I love their mom and dad just as much. Here's the scoop.

It started with Aiden. It was love at first sight. He was the cutest, squishiest, lovable baby I'd seen, and little did I know I'd create such a strong bond with him. He's my little Goofy-Goober, ask him and he'll tell you. I can't belive how much he has grown.

Then came Kylie.

With Aiden I thought that everything was complete. I had the little brother I always wanted, and he loved me like a big sister. I watched him grow up, we'd play superheroes and other games and learn things and do things together Tara. And then one day we heard about Kylie and I was blessed with a little sister.

When she first came, it was love at first sight all over agian. She's the little sister I've always wanted to have. I have someone to play dress up and dolls and house with. I share her bed when I spend the night and belive it or not we have have pretty interesting conversations. She was sooooo squishy! And now I look at her and I can't belive the time has flown by so quickly! She's 3 years old now and so outgoing, and sassy and loving. My heart flutters when I hear her say "Kahni I love you" or "You night-night with me!"

These are my siblings. They love me and I love them. It's the greatest feeling when I get told that they call me a big sister and say that their mommy has 3 kids.

Aiden and Kylie make me want to better myself so that I can be a good example in their lives. I feel like I can't say enough how much I love them or how much they do in my life. I would do just about anything for them.
When I play with them and watch them be goofy, my heart just wants to explode with all the love they give me. I am blessed to have them.

So here's my question to you....

Tell me what is important to you? Do you have someone or something is a reason why you live?

There's more of these to come, and Aiden and Kylie are my firsts.

I'm An Insomniac These Days...

Really....I haven't been able to get sleepy until like 1 A.M.

This in turn leaves room for much thinking for my wandering brain. Fun?

So here I sit thinking, and deciding to type about something that's been on my mind, that being how people treat each other.
I've said it a million times and I will continue to say it until I am blue in the face. I simply DO NOT understand people that are mean.
What's the point? Why can't people just get along? Why is it always, "That person totally looked at me funny? I hate them now!", or "Did you see what so-in-so was wearing?"

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah is all I hear. I don't care what mean thing someone has to say about someone else because, chances are....the person your talking about happens to be a friend of mine, and sorry, I don't like hearing someone talk mean about somebody who is my friend so I'm not going to say anything except maybe look at you with a raised eyebrow or something. I mean, didn't we pass this whole stage in highschool?

Okay, so of course I know that not everybody is going to get along. People are just going to get rubbed the wrong way, personalites will clash, people will argue. We're human and it's just a fact of life. It's not my fault that I look at the world with "Rose-Colored Glasses" and I can't help be believe that there is some sort of good within every person. I could be wrong though....if you haven't noticed, I tend to be abit naive.

Alright...I'm getting off my soapbox now.
Uhm...to anybody who even reads this....care to leave comments? Opinions? Agree or Disagree?
Replies make me a happy mascot. Heehee.